Karmic Economics: Pure Capitalism

By Zen Punkist


Machiavelli was not too far off when he claimed, “The ends justify the means.” He was, however, extremely shortsighted. One man’s ends are but the results of a single microcosm working alongside many other microcosms that are all just fractions of macrocosms both within and beyond our perceptions. The “Prince” who employs the common man is still merely a pawn in a larger game.

Understand – I am the most selfish person that you will ever encounter. All that I do is for me and me alone. When I seek to benefit the entire universe, it is only so that I may live in a better neighborhood. I am the type of Capitalist that Bill Gates could not afford to buy nor steal the idea to fantasize about. I am the type of Survivalist that pisses on the nearest Alpha-Male while Darwin laughs excitedly in his latest incarnation. Everything you’ve been sold up to this point is total bullshit. Here’s a little more for free:

1. There is only so much money that you can spend in a lifetime

a. Your snot-nose kids don’t deserve the leftovers – the money immediately loses its value to those who haven’t had to earn it. When you give it to your kids, it is automatically lost – nice move you brilliant strategist, you! Furthermore, you create a culture of mediocrity as these kids buy out the nation with their monopoly money and control from a standpoint that they never had to rise to. I know, I know, you made them go to college and get a business degree and everything, right? You can’t know shit about a business unless you’ve spent some time in the warehouse with the people in production who don’t speak English (which, of course, they wouldn’t since your warehouse is in China or Taiwan). You’ve got to spend time in each and every department talking to the people who keep the gears turning. You’re kid doesn’t have time to spend learning; they have to work on spending all that money you left them! So they’ll hire dipshit consultants to spend their time making inaccurate yet highly impressive observations on some PowerPoint presentation (they too are business school graduates with no experience). Alas, everything you’ve constructed will slowly be squandered away as the name you worked so hard to build now sets the standard low for the product that made you so proud. No worries, that’s when the shareholders will come in and do some creative PR and hire some clever advertising agency. The agency will work hard to offset the natural laws of economics by penetrating the nervous system and emotions of people everywhere programming their dependence on and love for your lousy product. So your legacy prevails, although, your spawn decline in skill and ability more & more each generation as they grow through a culture of excess rewards and minimal consequence (see Exhibit A: Bush Twins – Quantity not Quality manifested genetically). And the nation becomes the joke in yet another market that it used to lead through innovation. The global economy laughs at our silly, clueless, prideful juvenile nation and all its spoiled kids.

b. You develop illnesses worrying about protecting the sums that you’ll never get around to spending.

c. You spend a considerable amount of your wealth in efforts to protect it, retain it, and hide it from tax collectors (or buy politicians who give you tax breaks).

d. Your attempt to horde wealth that remains stagnant robs the system of the fruits of the activity of that wealth. But what am I saying? It’s not stagnant. All that wealth funds the credit/loan agencies that help the masses continue to buy your shitty shit despite the shitty pay they get for making it. Stagnant? Rather it’s actively returning feudalism through 30 year mortgages and subtle little pieces of plastic with magnetic strips. Stagnant? More like working everywhere breeding the despair of debt and keeping your disgruntled workers functioning apathetically yet dutifully. Not to mention the investments made in other mediocre monopolies (and politicians). Your excess wealth is the breeding pit for CANCEROUS ECONOMICS.

2. The more microcosms that your will benefits, the more those microcosms will naturally, logically, and merrily work towards the success of your will.

Example A:
You own a company and can award yourself $8 Million in profits in one year, while paying the people who make your product $25,000 per year (and benefits if they’re lucky). Well, if you’d be willing to take home $4 Million in profits instead & double the salaries of those in production, you could let 160 people who work for you bring home $50,000. That’s 160 people who now may be able to buy homes this year – instead of you buying a 2nd pool for your 4th house, or a fancy $4,000 umbrella holder. That’s 160 people who will want nothing more than your success because you hook them up so well. 160 people who will naturally contribute positive PR and talk up your company’s name. 160 people who can now afford to buy your product. Heck, now you can even cut back that $4 million you were paying some billionaire sports star to wear your logo! You now have 160 people advertising for you for free. Not to mention, these people are happier about making your product, so they do a better job and make a better product. Now all your customers are more satisfied, you see less profit-absorbing waste, and you have fewer complaints to manage.

Example B:
You can walk around your company and pay attention to the workers. Each year, you can select one employee who has shown outstanding determination, integrity, and ingenuity. Now, instead of investing in your spoiled kids, you can offer to give one of your most promising employees a free ride through college. This will make all employees want to work harder for you, knowing they have that opportunity available. Also, each year you give an employee that kind of opportunity, you have that many more people out there in the world grateful of the opportunities that you handed them. That many more people out there in the world besides you whose success might come back to benefit you. Maybe they don’t even give you a fat check, or a killer rate. Maybe one of them becomes a surgeon that you know you can trust your life with because you’ve seen them work. Maybe one of them develops some product or solution that makes a better world for your grandchildren. The investment you’re willing to make in the people who make your company will almost definitely yield you better returns than money you throw into your useless, out of touch offspring.

Example C:
Your Corporation gives so much to the community around it, that you don’t have to face coalitions of citizens working together to make sure that you’re not allowed to build in their community (way to go San Marcos vs. Wal Mart!). Rather, they lobby for you to be able to build in that community. Now you don’t have to waste money buying politicians to get you in.

3. The more microcosms can work together harmoniously, the more you profit the macrocosm’s will towards growth. Therefore, Universal Will becomes your ally.

“You think you’re big time?”
The universe is extremely efficient, and it won’t hesitate to get rid of you if you’re not economically viable. All everything comes down to = dynamic patterns of energy my friends. All the pictures and personalities and dramas are just metaphors romanticizing a bunch of physical and chemical actions and reactions creating a balance of forces that maintain our dynamic growing existence. All cells are gossiping all the time, and the collective unconscious (which includes cellular conscious) has a huge mouth! Now as cells enjoy a transitional nature, they’re always communicating, and almost always open to suggestion. So they’ll entertain whatever wills try hardest to get their attention. The more microcosms you’re profiting, the more individual wills naturally align with your own will (as it benefits them). The universe entertains whatever patterns satisfy the highest quantity of individual wills as this is the path of least resistance (fewer wills resisting your own). Thus, when you seek to benefit a greater amount of organisms, your will satisfies the greater organism we inhabit and call Universe. And then all the forces of the Universe are on your side. What more could you possibly ask for?

4. When your actions benefit larger and larger parts of the environment around you, you’re essentially upgrading the spirit, culture, and entire planet in which you reside. Think about how your colleagues will envy all the planetary upgrades that you can brandish!

You know, you’re rich. You have nice stuff, right? How about a nice pool? Do you shit in your pool? Do you invite all your rich little corrupt friends to come swimming with you and do you all shit in your pool? Ok, well, pretend you’ve just fired your entire cleaning staff, then would you still get your pool all shittied up and wade around among the turds accidentally swallowing some of the water, woops!? Would you? Would you build one of your fancy mansions next to a dump site? Now, don’t you make big contributions to your Country Club so they can put a picture of you up and get the highest grade of grass on the golf courses? You like the pretty golf courses, right? Well, then try to envision greater and greater expanses of remarkable landscape out there for you to enjoy. What’s the point if you have to share with filthy low class common people you ask? Well, if your excess wealth was utilized in some of the ways mentioned above, you’d be increasing the quality of people with whom you have to share the planet. Don’t you see how petty and pre-occupied you’ve become obsessing over a few acres when you can take ownership of the entire planet? Instead of getting your 2nd mistress a 3rd face lift, you can improve the overall quality and performance of the entire human species. And believe me, they’d be a whole lot more interesting and engaging to talk with rather than your boring co-competitors at the country club. Therefore, you would be increasing opportunities for your own entertainment.

The old ghettos could be your new operas; the illiterate could be your new poets and playwrights; annoying little hoochie-dressing 13 year old girls could be developing the new impressive aesthetics of your neighborhood. Think bigger you narrow-minded, cliché-cycling, useless wastes of space and wealth!!!! Instead of trying to get fancier shower curtains, and putting on more impressive wasteful parties attended by people you hate and fear, you could compete with your colleagues in raising the quality and possibilities of existence on the whole. Stop concerning yourself with such minutia as playing dress up or tea party with all your little friends. Grow up! Think bigger for laughing in silent!! Do something new for a change – FOR CHANGE!! Aren’t you bored? Aren’t you bored out of your 3 facial a week tiny little mind? Get creative, please, please, for the love of cock, PLEASE!!

Unless, of course, you’re main source of joy and worth is the elitism that allows you to enjoy excess wealth in a world of limited opportunities. Then, you might prefer to do what you can to further limit opportunities for the common man and condense the overabundant nature of the world into a few lush acres that you can enjoy all to your privileged little self. It all depends on what you’re into. Personal preferences determine everything, and more common persons like myself can always choose to prefer one of your competitors who’s a degree or two lower on the elitist fetish scale.

5. Compete with the past, rather than other people, to raise expectations for the future.
Competition is healthy, natural – inherent even. But our species got it all fucked up. We look at other animals and talk about survival of the fittest. We see the fierce competition in simpler animals that seek to pass on their genes. But really, evolution is about projecting the greatest we have as a species into the future – not being the one whose descendents own the future. Evolution is about spending each day competing with who you were yesterday. It’s about looking forward and making sure you’re not traveling in circles. What greater achievement can you possibly imagine than breaking the cycle of repeating the past? When history repeats itself, it proves that we have not learned from our mistakes; we have not evolved; we may as well have remained amoebas. With all your wealth, you remained a generic gear on some huge machine.

Today men in power lead through deception and pacification. They hire someone to play the melodies that keep the masses asleep. They tiptoe around fields of sleeping giants while quietly celebrating the earth’s abundance that they keep all to themselves. They even have the giants working in their sleep to create the wealth that they’re quietly, privately enjoying. Well, if you’re a bunch of mediocre, insecure, worthless, incompetent pussies then that may suit you just fine. But if you’re true competitors and true capitalists, if you’re confident enough in your abilities to excel and catapult our species’ progress light years into the future, if you know that you really have what it takes to be the best in this day and age, then you might just be willing to awaken the sleeping giants that surround you and see how well you do when everyone is up to play the game.

But then, pure capitalism has never been for the weak.